This is one of those nights where it hardly seems to be worth talking about the game.

The match was utterly dire, a bore of a scoreless draw between two clubs that could not possibly have cared less. The Whitecaps, playing predominantly a first team, came out like they had nothing to play for and knew it. The Toronto regulars were similarly disposed. Less frequent visitors to both lineups, like Philippe Davies for Vancouver and the TFC Academy kids, had a lot more heart and a lot more hustle but less skill. The catastrophic weather, with levels of rain that would make Vancouver blush and a pitch so slippery the Blackhawks and Islanders later skated on it, also inclined the veterans towards conservatism, and so boredom reigned.

I thought Marcus Haber deserved his red card. From where I was sitting at BMO Field, he began the slide after Toronto’s player had got rid of the ball, had his spikes up, and was generally launching an utterly reckless sliding tackle from a player who ought to know better. On a level I was relieved because it meant I wouldn’t have to watch Marcus Haber any more, but on another level it shattered Vancouver’s already slim chances of grabbing a goal. I thought that playing Cornelius Stewart and, later, Randy Edwini-Bonsu alone up front after Haber’s ejection was overly conservative on Teitur Thordarson’s part. But two records remain standing as a result of that conservatism. The Whitecaps complete an undefeated Voyageurs Cup with no wins, no losses, and four draws, and Toronto FC completes an actually triumphant undefeated campaign where they never conceded a goal.

So rather than talk about the game, let’s talk about something else.

As you’d know if you read this site (and if you don’t read this site how did you get this far?), I went to Montreal and Toronto for the away legs. In the course of my travels I hit Bar 99 with the Montreal Ultras after that particular disappointing draw. I hit the Duke of Gloucester with U-Sector to watch Canada take on Venezuela, and after this match I was snared by a Red Patch Boy on my way out of BMO Field and went to Shoeless Joe’s for a thoroughly enjoyable post-game. With apologies to the North End Elite and Tribal Rhythm Nation, I’ve spent more time around away supporters than half the supporters do the last two weeks.

And, you know, it’s the damndest thing. When I was in Montreal I laughed with the Ultras and talked about how, whatever our differences, one thing we had in common was that we all hate Toronto FC. Down at Shoeless Joe’s, I laughed with the Red Patch Boy who brought me in and we agreed that, however many differences we have, we both know that we all hate the Montreal Impact. I can imagine Montreal and Toronto supporters commiserating over a beer and saying that, for all their many disagreements, they know that at least they’re not fucking Southsiders.

It’s easy to forget for those of us who spend more time trolling the discussion boards than actually meeting with our fellow supporter, but ultimately, we’re all coming to matches for the same things. We want to hang out with old friends and make new friends and sing and chant and make a ruckus and cheer our team on to victory, and with all of that common ground the colour of laundry we’re cheering for is really a very minor detail.

I don’t want to get too maudlin here  (although I’m writing this with a fair bit of liquor in me), but I think that we sometimes exaggerate the rivalries forming between us supporters groups. A bit of heat is a good thing. A Whitecaps game, to me, means more when it’s against the Impact or the Timbers than it does against AC St. Louis or the Carolina Railhawks, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But that’s not an excuse to go around picking virtual fights with the Timbers Army or the Montreal Ultras and generally being an asshole. There are few enough Canadian soccer supporters in this country as it is without dividing ourselves further and driving each other away with a constant avalanche of hostility and abuse masquerading as rivalry.

There’s nothing wrong with giving each other the gears, or building those rivalries. When I call Toronto FC supporters “plastics”, it’s a shot but it’s meant in good spirits. When Toronto FC supporters call us Whitecaps fans pot-smoking hippies, I can take it in the same light. Nobody is saying that everybody needs to join hands and sing and dance, or even particularly get along. Just that we can’t let the comforting veil of Internet anonymity divide our too-small community and turn us all into complete cocksuckers.

When I whine like this I’m not so much referring to guys at usector.ca talking shit about their opponent du jour, or the pro-Montreal blogs saying pro-Montreal things, or similar internal affairs. I’m talking about the fact that even the Voyageurs forum has, in some parts, become a cesspool for intra-club rivals sniping at each other. I’m talking about the fact that, more and more, the sort of soccer fan you are in this country depends on which of the big three clubs you support, and if you’re a neutral (or, God help you, a third-division supporter) then you’d better just get out of the way before you wind up crawling under the bed and sobbing at how stupid a bunch of otherwise intelligent people could be.

It bears repeating. When we actually meet up, be it under the national team banner or because some of us are going to support our club on the road, we tend to get along pretty well. Almost every story you hear about particularly infamous club supporters runs something like “yeah, on-line he’s a real asshole but he’s pretty cool in person”. It’s early days for Canadian soccer fandom, and for the most part we don’t actually hate each other quite yet.

There is, after all, quite a large gulf between rivalry and hatred, between wanting Dwayne De Rosario to get hit by the team bus and wanting the supporters to get dragged under the wheels with him. I hope that we never bridge that gulf, because one of the best assets of the Canadian soccer community is that, for all the countless differences between us, we are a community. The Canadian soccer world is united in a way that most countries can never be because, ultimately, we’re all in the same boat. We’re all cheering for a team ranked sixty-third in the world when most of us think that’s too high. We all support clubs that are in leagues of dubious stability and we all have a history of watching teams we loved suspended or killed off. Whether you root for the big bad MLS boys in their soccer-specific stadium or the Canadian Soccer League team whose games are sporadically canceled because the pitch has plywood under it, you’re an underdog.

The success of Montreal, Vancouver, and Toronto is terrific. The future success of Edmonton, Ottawa, and others is something to hope for. But if that success comes at the cost of fracturing the Canadian soccer world and destroying the unity that brought us the Voyageurs Cup in the first place, it’ll be of questionable value. For now, I’ll rejoice in the fact that when we gather, nobody can celebrate the beautiful game like a Canadian regardless of what colour he wears. I’ll cheer for Toronto in the CONCACAF Champions League not because I like them but because they’re Canadian and that’s what counts. I’ll adopt the Red Green philosophy: “remember, I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.”

And next time some opposition fan on some message board says something so stupid and inflammatory it can’t help but be destroyed in rhetorical rage, I’ll take a deep breath and I’ll leave it alone. And I hope you will too.

The Voyageurs Cup is over. After the match tonight, Toronto FC will be presented with their justly-earned championship trophy even if they somehow contrive to lose this game by sixty. There’s more of a chance of that than usual, given that Toronto has called up seven TFC Academy kids to at least observe proceedings tonight. But even if it did happen it wouldn’t be in the least relevant.

This being Canada, there’s still controversy over this meaningless game and Toronto’s possible decision to play a bunch of its youngsters in a game that has no relevance to them. Okay, there’s not really any controversy, just a few blindly anti-Toronto people saying their usual blindly anti-Toronto nonsense and a few blindly pro-Toronto people blowing it up into something more than it really is. But it still merits comment, on account of all the actual controversy last year when Montreal played its scrubs in a game irrelevant to them but still very relevant to the country.

Of course, this game is nothing like Montreal – Toronto last year. The tournament is decided this time around and Toronto has every right to play whichever useless pieces of Academy detritus it desires. But I hope they do run out a strong lineup, because this game is on Sportsnet (East and West) and as such is something of a showcase for soccer in this country. It’s true that Sportsnet has always given soccer short shrift, and restricting it to East and West when the two competing teams are in the Pacific and Ontario regions indicates once again that they don’t really care about the game. But people from Edmonton or Halifax channel-flipping and ending up on a tepid BMO Field half-heartedly cheering an avalanche of guys only the hardcores have ever heard of as two teams fight not to get embarrassed by the other… that’s not a very good sales pitch for soccer in this country.

Besides, I’m selfish. This is the last time Vancouver will ever face an MLS team in a competitive match before they move up to MLS themselves. There’s a certain joy in giant-killing that’s lost when you simply beat a rival that’s an equal to yourself. But that giant-killing only counts if the giant hasn’t tied both hands behind his back. I’m sure that the TFC Academy players would be fired up to play the Whitecaps, and I’m also sure that they’re highly competent. They can probably stand up to a Vancouver second eleven better than most non-observers like me would give them credit for. But I’m also sure that if the Whitecaps beat them that’s not an accomplishment, and that if they beat the Whitecaps… hoo boy.

We don’t actually know how many of those seven Academy kids will play, yet, or if any of them will start, or how many of them will even be on the bench. We don’t know if Dwayne De Rosario will get a half, or the start, or a night off. Preki plays his cards irritatingly close to the vest. We don’t know how good the support will be. It is a Wednesday night and for a meaningless game, will some of the supporters stay home? Certainly some of the casuals are (and who can blame them?). Will the cheering be as raucous for second- or third-tier players in a meaningless game? Heck, from what they say Toronto fans don’t even hate the Whitecaps that much, which would take away that little zest that can fire up a crowd in an otherwise dull game (but also means that I may not get beaten up unless I get drunk and start shouting about how plastic all the supporters are, and from what I understand of BMO Field beer that’s an expensive proposition).

I want the Whitecaps to win, because they’re my team and I always want them to win. But it doesn’t matter if they lose. It’s sort of nice, having all the pressure off.  I mean, boy, it would be embarrassing if TFC Academy whooped us but it wouldn’t actually affect anything. I can walk and talk and watch and smile and generally have a good time, and if Vancouver somehow pulls the rabbit of a victory out of their hat then I can sing and cheer and have a gay old time. Either way the game’s at beautiful BMO Field, which I’ve never been to before but seems like a lovely facility, on what will either be a lovely night or a thunder-and-lightning hellstorm fully suitable for football drama, depending on which weather report you believe.

Even though I probably shouldn’t, I’m looking forward to it. The Whitecaps might lose, but their supporters can’t, and that’s a rare thing in sports. Best to embrace the moment.

Somewhat to my surprise, upon getting up this morning I discovered that a minor imbroglio has broken out over Marc Dos Santos and the Montreal Impact’s flagrant time-wasting last night at Stade Saputo. Not merely “oh, that’s annoying” like you hear every time a Jose Mourinho team gets a 1-0 lead, but actual debate. Controversy, even. Nothing on the order of Trois-Rivieres Attak 1, Toronto FC 6, but all the same.

I’m not just referring to my esteemed Copper & Blue colleague Bruce’s comments in my tipsily-written recap from last night. At Bar 99 with a few of the Montreal Ultras last night, I heard a draw called “the worst possible result” since the Impact fans didn’t get the delight of a victory and the Whitecaps fans were knocked out of the tournament, but I really didn’t think any more of it. Yet this morning, the Voyageurs board and to a lesser extent the Southsiders forum are alive decrying, or at least considering, Montreal’s decision to waste time and go for a 1-1 draw. Even occasional Maple Leaf Forever contributor pRoke chimed in on my Facebook wall, saying “if I were the referee I would have given Djekanovic a 2nd yellow for time wasting”.

I haven’t really changed my position from last night. I think dos Santos was entitled to sit on a draw if he wanted to. There was no danger of his delegitimizing the championship as he did last year with the reserve fiasco. Montreal is a fiendishly talented team but Vancouver showed the better offense last night, even after the Impact parked the bus: perhaps dos Santos simply made a tactical assessment that if he opened up, his chances of getting burned for a Vancouver goal were too great. That is a coach’s job, after all, and had he gambled and lost the excoriation in the Montreal and Toronto soccer presses would have been considerable.

What’s most important is the dignity of our championship and the worthiness of its winner. The best contribution Montreal could make, once eliminated, would be to play their last match like it meant something. If it had been a league game, would dos Santos have bunkered like that in such a context? Maybe, but he certainly wouldn’t have blown open the barn doors looking for a goal.

Oh, how I wish dos Santos had thrown caution to the wind, said “dammit, my fans paid to see us win,” and sent Byers, Sebrango, and Placentino thundering down the pitch like their hair was on fire. Because the Whitecaps might have snatched one on the break and we’d be talking about the game next Wednesday in terms other than “how many Academy players should Toronto start?” At the very least Montreal might have scored and the Ultras would have been charmingly insufferable instead of vaguely depressed. But as a manager, Marc dos Santos did his job, and as a Canadian he did right by his national tournament. The prick.

Gutted. Horrified. Infuriated. A whole bevy of emotions, each of them negative.

Should I be pleased that we deserved the result we got, that there’s no “you lucky skunks” 6-1 victory hanging over our head like the Sword of Damocles, that Toronto FC has won our national championship in unimpeachably, impeccably pure and correct fashion? Probably, from an intellectual perspective, but I genuinely don’t care right now. We came all this way just to draw. Just to draw.

Where was the urgency, the desperation, the drive? It showed up in spots, once in a while. Martin Nash had a chip on his shoulder. In spite of his lack of pace he can be omnipresent in midfield when he has a mind and he nearly achieved those rarified heights tonight, with the Impact having no answer to his effective distribution and his surprisingly strong positioning. There was a man who wanted to win. So, too, did Wes Knight, who flew up and down the right-hand channel and whose clean tackles saved the Whitecaps at least one goal against. Nowhere else, from the bench to the starting eleven, was there a player who left me consistently pleased with his effort. The headlines said that the Whitecaps would hold nothing back, but their effort showed a team that thought there were games yet to play.

I am so flabbergasted that I am beyond speech. The questions are bubbling in my head, overriding any effort at analysis. Why was Marcus Haber so utterly decrepit? Perhaps his transfer to West Brom convinced him he is better than he actually is, for Haber was full of athleticism. He thundered with that ball down the wings and no Impact defender could get that thing off of him for love of money, yet what on earth did he achieve with it? What did he even come close to accomplishing?

It has been one long season of struggle for Haber, once the USL-1 golden boy, whose only moment of glory this season has come courtesy a Voyageurs Cup penalty. But Teitur Thordarson’s faith in young Haber is unshakable. Teitur cannot be building for the future, as of course Haber’s loan spell ends soon and he will be returning to West Bromwich Albion. So why the continued selection? Cornelius Stewart, once again, left the older and larger Haber in his dust. Even debutant Doudou Toure was far Haber’s superior, and I’d have rather had Marlon James than Haber ten times out of ten.

Yet James, though healthy for once, sat on the bench for the duration. Why, Teitur? Why? Perplexing decisions were not limited to the players, after all.

One decision that did not perplex me was Montreal’s; to waste time and go for the draw. Last year, we criticized them for not caring enough about the Voyageurs Cup and not giving Vancouver a fair chance. Now, we criticize them for caring about Toronto’s rights too much and not opening themselves up to go for a victory they didn’t need. Time-wasting is despicable anti-football and Montreal was right to employ it.

The problem was that we made it so easy for them. Credit to Ansu Toure, whose goal was a lovely thing, the sort of scrappy blue-collar effort the Whitecaps have had the devil’s own time getting this season. His celebration was worth the price of admission on its own. But when Toure scored the Whitecaps grew complacent – in the stands, even I said to myself “here is what we’re good at, defending the lead”. Marc dos Santos was having none of it, bringing in his best striker Peter Byers for his worst midfielder Tyler Hemming and going with a 4-3-3. The Impact promptly proceeded to shove it down Vancouver’s throat.

Everything went wrong. Greg Janicki, who until that moment I was convinced had super powers from his omnipresent cranial bandage, was beaten cleanly; torn between dropping back and challenging the ball he did neither and was shredded for his trouble. The ball instead found its way at the top of the box to defender Philippe Billy. I don’t really know much about Philippe Billy beyond what I hear from the Montreal Ultras, and what I hear is that he’s a fat tub of lard not worth the all-too-considerable salary the Impact are paying him. So imagine my horror when that round mound made a nifty side-step and pounded the ball past a helpless Jay Nolly to level affairs.

Such a lovely goal from such a fat man. And the astonishing thing was that as the game wore on and Billy went to the sidelines for water during stoppages and was so drenched in sweat it looked like he had come out of a wet t-shirt contest he just kept going, virtually toying with the Whitecaps, and only Zourab Tsiskaridze came anywhere near being able to cope with Billy.

As the game wore on, the Whitecaps started to realize their dire straits, but they reacted in entirely the wrong fashion. Rather than build up and generate attack they sprayed the ball wildly, wasted corners and free kick opportunities, and generally acted like they had ten seconds left rather than twenty minutes. Doudou Toure made his first appearance as a Whitecap, was fast as hell, and in my opinion drew a foul in the area during stoppage time, but lacked the skill to put the Whitecaps over the top. Marcus Haber was terrible. Cornelius Stewart, bless him, was too exhausted to make a difference. The midfield and the defense hoofed the ball up, and as the game wore on only Takashi Hirano (of all people, he of the utter awfulness against Toronto last week) showed any touch or patience whatsoever.

There was nothing. None of the competence or confidence we saw as recently as Saturday. There was merely offensive impotence, midfield idiocy, and defensive ineptitude. There was nothing we could hang our hat on. Even Doudou Toure’s missed would-be penalty felt like a cheat – we didn’t deserve to win on a ninetieth-minute penalty anyway.

There was no question about who deserved the Voyageurs Cup this year, and when I gird myself to cheer for Toronto FC in the CONCACAF Champions League I will at least have the comfort of knowing that our best representative is taking part. Their supporters must be thrilled. But I hope you’ll excuse me if I take some more time to wallow in misery and the humiliating defeat of a team that is, technically, undefeated in the tournament.

What more revolting phrase is there than “playing for pride”? The mere use of it carries a host of implications more fit for the nineteenth century. “Oh, there’s nothing on the line in this game, really, except pride! Bragging rights! That ephemeral athletic chivalry which compels a sportsman to play his blood out for any stakes!” Yet ultimately every match, from a Sunday afternoon for your rec team to the Champions League final, is for pride. Those titles and trophies only hold meaning insofar as players take pride in the achievement and fans take pride in their champions. If a team will not take pride in a game against a professional opponent just because there’s no shiny trophy at the end, they have far greater problems than merely one game.

So yeah, the Montreal Impact have nothing but pride to play for tomorrow, but that should be enough. The Impact have been precious short on pride the last couple of years, what with 6-1 and Roberto “Duran” Brown and actually giving ruffian Adam Braz a professional paycheque. Impact supporters can point with some justification to their USL Division One title in 2009 and their ownership of the Whitecaps in USSF D2 league play. But none of that was on national television against (it galls me to say) the largest, best-supported club in the country. It is a hard truth that pride in obscurity cannot scrub the stain of humiliation before millions.

For the sake of all Canadian soccer fans, the Impact had better play as close to their first team Wednesday as they can get. For their own fans, for the neutrals watching across the country, and even for the innocent Vancouver supporters who already hear the bleating of the more deranged TFC types before the game has even begun (I will not dignify such filth with a link), whinging about a capitulation they view as inevitable.

I’m quite serious. As a Southsider who’ll be at Stade Saputo tomorrow, I want to see Montreal’s best. The Whitecaps winning the Voyageurs Cup right now would take an upset that would make 6-1 look like a game of Parcheesi and I wouldn’t want a Toronto-sized asterisk if by some miracle we did pull off those two wins in two games. Yes, it would balance accounts for last year’s debacle, but some accounts are better not balanced. The last thing our national championship needs is another credibility-sapping capitulation.

Would Marc dos Santos dare to run out the scrubs anyway? Remember, the Impact boss took a bath in the press for his tactics last time out and Joey Saputo actually apologized to the Whitecaps on his team’s behalf. Not even the Ultras, who could be expected to best understand the strategic logic, forgave too easily. Would he really imperil his reputation with a repeat performance? I doubt it. He may dress like a model but Marc’s no Derek Zoolander. We probably won’t see his best eleven but the lineup could be comparable to what Toronto ran out last week at Swangard Stadium, at least.

If he does that, the Impact should be able to do what is required of them. Vancouver’s strung together a couple inspirational performances in a row but even with the goalless drought over Vancouver’s offensive offense is a 72-point question mark. Montreal’s looked the better side so far in the league and has a defense more than equal to Vancouver’s anemic attack. A draw decides the Cup, and in their own building the Impact should get at least one point.

That would, of course, leave next week’s Toronto – Vancouver game as just two teams playing for pride. But I don’t see that being a problem.

I am emotionally drained and physically exhausted. I slump in an unfamiliar chair in North Vancouver, a nervous wreck devoid of intelligence or energy. It is eleven PM. I bought dinner from PetroCanada, because it’s the sort of night when you want to buy dinner from a gas station at 11 PM, but it sits next to my laptop untouched. I am too beaten-down, too exhausted, too completely played out to move.

We needed a win and the stars aligned in so many ways. Preki did not play a second-choice lineup but he started just enough of his bench that the Whitecaps had a skill advantage in a few precious positions. Vancouver, as it too seldom has in games this season, came out guns blazing, hungry for a result. The Southside was as packed as I’ve seen it and as raucous as it’s ever been. I arrived late and as such heard the chanting from outside the stadium – my walk towards Swangard heralded by “here we go, here we go, here we goooo” as if they were serenading me in my absence.

How could we not win? That question keeps insisting itself upon me. How in heaven and earth did we not win that game? The refereeing was not partial but it was bad, as bad as it’s ever been in a match I’ve attended. That’s one reason. Toronto was just plain lucky, getting more than their share of fortunate deflections of shots off of legs and bodies and heads. That was another. Ultimately, it came down to that for once the world’s worst football prognosticator, myself, was right when he said what the Whitecaps’ glaring weakness was, when he started the “sign Ali Gerba” bandwagon and rode it as its lonely single passenger, when he cried and wailed and gnashed his teeth that this team refused to acquire a pure finishing striker when they were ankle-deep on the ground for the taking.

So we outplayed Toronto, and kept the more glamourous names pinned back in their own end for long stretches, and got a rogue’s gallery of chances, and drew. We’re on two points and Toronto is on seven. Two wins in our last two games and we’re through. The Voyageurs Cup is not over, except for the fact that it totally is.

On the SkyTrain, there were a group of soccer moms near me discussing the Voyageurs Cup (by the way, lesson to Toronto plastics: the Vancouver soccer moms can understand and care about the Voyageurs Cup). They were pinning their hopes on a repeat of 2009, when Montreal with nothing to play for fielded a reserve team in the deciding match against Toronto. But after the evisceration the Impact took for their shameful capitulation I would be astonished to see a repeat performance that would “even the score” as it were. Besides, I wouldn’t want to win like that if we could. Country before club and the last thing this amazing tournament needs is a bunch of Toronto plastics questioning its legitimacy now that it’s their team that might get screwed.

And even if we do win that game – which we won’t – we’d be heading into BMO Field, a more hostile domain than any in USSF Division Two, needing three points against higher-level opposition. Higher-level opposition that will have every reason to play its best. Forget it. Not going to happen. We’ll be more likely to see Dwayne De Rosario grow a mullet.

We got the moral victories. I could count the number of times when Justin Moose has impressed me on my fingers after a bandsaw accident but tonight he was the man of the match in my books; omnipresent, devouring allegedly more-skilled players, hustling with aplomb and actually showing the intelligence to make something out of that hustle. The FC leave Swangard Stadium for the last time having never won on that hallowed Burnaby grass, the sort of record that is superficially exciting and completely meaningless. We comprehensively outplayed an MLS team, an MLS team that time-wasted in a nil-nil draw against less famous opposition for fifty minutes and hugged in relief and delight after that draw was over. The neutrals must have been delighted by a free-flowing game, and at Swangard (excepting a particularly obtuse, confrontational Mountie with a baton up his ass) a good time was had by all.

But it was that close. My god, we could have made a competition out of this thing, and instead it’s a coronation.

I disagree with just about everything Duane Rollins writes at the 24th Minute. That’s part of the reason I read his non-Toronto posts so attentively: it’s good to see an opposing perspective argued passionately and intelligently. Keeps me on my toes. But today my attention is focused on his new Western writer, Brandon Timko, and a subject near and dear to my heart: the expansion of the Voyageurs Cup.

Why so much interest in getting an additional collection of minnows and also-rans into a tournament that, as much as the diehards love it, does not yet resonate with the day-to-day public? Because a true Canadian Soccer League, as opposed to an Ontario league that assumes the name and style, seems to be a pipe dream. A pipe dream we all share but one which regardless has no chance of coming true. The Voyageurs Cup already exists. The Canadian Soccer Association is driving it with, from them, unaccustomed enthusiasm and ambition. It already rings truer among Canadian fans than the US Open Cup does south of the border, and not just because of the CONCACAF Champions League berth at play. If anything, the relatively insignificant Champions League is a neat opportunity that would come as a pleasant reward along with the real prize.

With FC Edmonton coming into the North American Soccer League in 2011, we seem set to have a four-team tournament until Edmonton goes tits-up (tentatively scheduled for 2012) and a four-team round robin isn’t a grueling schedule. But Rollins is aiming higher than that. He wants the CSL, PCSL, and USL PDL teams involved, as well as local amateur sides. Western and eastern brackets to keep the costs down, with the winners matching in a two-match national battle royale for all the marbles.

It’s a lovely thought. It would be like our own FA Cup, one which lacks the ancestry and pageantry of the older competition but which the larger clubs will be obliged to take more seriously and which the smaller clubs would, with fewer teams and therefore fewer tests of their mettle, have a much better chance of a glory tie against an MLS opponent or even taking the entire tournament in a stunning upset.

So now, in the time-honoured tradition of this space, I will tell you why it can never happen. At least, not in that form.

1. Most Canadian USL PDL teams will never be able to participate in the Voyageurs Cup, ever. Sorry, guys. It’s true.

Those of you without a strong grounding in amateur American soccer leagues may need a bit of an explanation. The USL Premier Development League had its genesis as a summer league for American college players and those looking to catch on in the NCAA ranks. Ages are restricted and most teams operate on a strictly amateur basis. Even non-collegiate players go officially unpaid, as a semi-professional team would compromise the NCAA eligibility of its entire roster. The Victoria Highlanders and the Abbotsford Mariners, in Western Canada, operate along these lines, although for obvious reasons they look to CIS for their talent base as well.

There is nothing inherently prohibiting amateurs from playing in the Voyageurs Cup or even the CONCACAF Champions League, although the powers-that-be might frown on it (even the worst Champions League representatives, from the like of El Salvador and Haiti, tend to officially be fully professional). But there are obvious factors preventing collegiate players from participating in the CONCACAF Champions League: they’re in school!

Remember, this isn’t college throwball. 95% of a USL PDL team’s roster will never get paid a thin dime to play professional soccer. They’re going to school to earn an education while soccer is an entertaining and, if they’re very good indeed, potentially lucrative diversion. The CONCACAF Champions League group stages begin in August and end in October, flying its participants across Central America and the Caribbean. Even for professional teams, the schedule can be difficult. Those playing semi-professionally and with full-time jobs can probably get time off from understanding employers – the employers must be understanding for them to get semi-professional rides to begin with! But even if the Canadian Soccer Association stepped in and found a way to finance these expensive trips, what chance would full-time students have? Missing classes, trying to practice and stay in game shape with only friendlies (for their PDL seasons are long over), skipping NCAA and CIS practices or games, the real stars holding off on potential professional commitments that would ruin their eligibility for an amateur side, all so they can get waxed in Trinidad and Tobago?

Is it unlikely that a USL PDL team would qualify for the group stage of the CONCACAF Champions League? Of course, but stranger things have happened. Besides, the same problem applies to a lesser extent in the Voyageurs Cup itself. A tournament long enough to include amateur clubs would have to begin earlier, and even the current incarnation gets started in late April, weeks before the PDL season. A full tournament risks obliging PDL teams to finalize their rosters and begin play during the school year, which would be difficult at best and put the amateurs at a heavy competitive disadvantage.

This doesn’t apply to the academy sides, like the Whitecaps Residency team, which operate along professional lines. But are we really expanding this thing for the sake of the Vancouver Whitecaps Residency?

2. The big clubs would never go for it.

Hi, Vancouver Whitecaps of Major League Soccer! This Voyageurs Cup thing is going pretty well, isn’t it? You’re taking on rivals in Toronto and Montreal, and a bunch of leatherlunged prairie boys from Edmonton are pissing your fans off by talking about bringing down the big MLS team. Attendance is pretty good for weekday games, it doesn’t take up too much of the schedule, and maybe you get to win and go thump some Mexicans.

Well, we’re going to change things up a bit. Instead of playing Toronto and Montreal, you’re taking on Gorge FC and the Fraser Valley Action. They’re really excited about maybe bringing down the MLS stars – I’d expect to see a couple away fans at BC Place for that one! And if you beat them, then you get that exciting home date with the hated Toronto and Montreal teams. Well, one of them, anyway. Also, the tournament’s a month longer now.

So, what do you think?

3. The travel is still too damned expensive.

This is much more of a problem out west than it would be in the east. In the east, the travel would just mean that Atlantic Canadian and rural clubs could never participate and I doubt that’s going to break your heart. But out west, there are a few blocks of clubs spaced apart by gigantic wildernesses full of nothing.

A PCSL or VMSL team would never have a problem heading to play the Whitecaps, but flying to Edmonton might cost more than their travel budget for the rest of the season. Similarly, that amateur team in Calgary would probably be able to take a bus ride to Edmonton easily enough, but when a time comes to travel to the Kamloops Excel… well, you have to do that twice in a round robin and the cost might add up awful quick. And if one of them somehow won that pool and had to fly to Stade Saputo, well, hell.

Don’t count on the Canadian Soccer Association to subsidize it every year.  They’re the Canadian Soccer Association.

So, you smartass, what would you do?

First off, I’d give up on amateur USL PDL teams. A few non-affiliated USL PDL teams in the United States are starting to go semi-professional, and if any of our guys ever go that route they’d be welcome. I’d also let in the Whitecaps Residency and Prospects, the prospective Edmonton academy team, TFC Academy, and the Impact reserves with fairly strict cap-tying rules to prevent clubs from fielding overly strong secondary clubs or even weakening the little club too much mid-Cup.

Realistically, the qualification process for 2012 might have to begin in 2011, letting the amateurs and the semi-professionals duke it out amongst themselves. That would give them plenty of time to have a fair competition arranged on a regional basis so it wouldn’t be a financial hardship. It’ll also give a team plenty of notice that they’ll be required to travel and even where they’ll have to travel to: Milltown FC will know well in advance who also qualified and the funds they’ll have to raise, and if they can’t do it they’ll be able to gracefully bow out in favour of the next-placed team. There’ll be roster turnover between the team that qualifies and the team that plays, but that’s life.

The amateur and semi-professional teams could even have a little cup amongst themselves to serve as the qualifier, to lend a little prestige. Why not? What’s a nice trophy cost, $200? The CSA can make that happen.

Then your 2012 teams duke it out. The fully professional teams in MLS and the NASL get an automatic entry, of course. The minnows have known what they’re up against for some time and will play all their games for the Voyageurs Cup in-season, giving them the best realistic competitive chance.  They’ll probably lose, of course. The gulf between division two and division three in Canada is awfully large, but upsets have been made over larger. And if they achieve it, the Voyageurs Cup neutral site final would come just in time to be a perfect crown to their season.

If the minnow gets really lucky and wins the whole show, well, fantastic. These guys can hopefully book more time off work for the Champions League matches. There are mid-sized stadia that would probably meet CONCACAF standards – Lamport in Toronto, Swangard in Vancouver, City Centre in Victoria. At that once-in-a-lifetime stage, the Canadian Soccer Association could probably use some Aeroplan miles to get these guys to and from the games. CSL (well, CPSL) teams have played in CONCACAF before, after all, although the championship was less serious in those days.

For those who are a little too curious about how this would work, I rigged up a hypothetical schedule for qualification in 2011 and a Cup in 2012 (also showing qualification for the 2013 Cup – it gets a little weird). Work was boring and I make no apologies for it, but I think that schedule-wise my proposal is workable: we can have a fair schedule without playing through the snow in most of the country and still finishing up in time for Jack Warner and his pals.

A tournament where every game is worth watching, where every fan has a vested interest, and every team will be able to play without panicking about what to do if they win. That’s the best we can hope for.

The Whitecaps grabbed a lucky point against the Impact last night, and I was totally good with that.

Oh, Vancouver wasn’t being completely pushed around. It wasn’t that sort of lucky point, that Wigan-against-Arsenal lucky point. The Whitecaps were certainly the classier force for the first twenty-five minutes or so, but then they got lazy, or complacent, or in some way let their game slip and the Impact pinned the Whitecaps deep in their own end, including snaring a rather lovely goal courtesy the erratic but talented Antiguan Peter Byers. Couldn’t say the Impact didn’t deserve their lead; they were converting their chances while Vancouver wasn’t, and they kept their foot down through the beginning of the second half. But it was a close affair.

It was lucky in the sense that Montreal once again let their tempers get the best of them, that the Impact took their name a little too literally. Eighty-first minute, Marlon James dives like a fish to draw an undeserved foul. The referee misses the call, because this is real life and humans are imperfect, and awards Vancouver a kick. Adam Braz decides that he has had enough of this shit and, already riding a yellow, pops a Whitecap from behind as the Vancouverites mill through the confusion trying to get the ball set down. Matt Jordan’s egregious taunting of Marcus Haber has no effect, the West Brom boy slots home the penalty, ballgame.

So yeah, the foul that got the whole affair started was actually a tremendous dive from James, proof that Phillips Bakery isn’t the only place to get a big roll in St. Vincent. I’d feel a lot worse about that if not for Montreal’s particularly egregious timewasting that began ere the second half was old, particularly courtesy Matt Jordan and Rocco Placentino. I’d feel a lot worse about it if half the reason James got the benefit of the doubt wasn’t “well, they are the Montreal Impact and they do commit fouls like that”.

Besides, the Whitecaps very nearly seized the opportunity in even more spectacular fashion. Braz hadn’t been integral to the solid Impact defending last night but his absence seemed to stun Montreal and put life in Whitecap legs. From that moment on, almost without exception, the Whitecaps pinned the Impact back and put on a passing clinic which Montreal was powerless to stop. Marlon James very nearly snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with a stoppage time shot that eked barely wide. Far more than Toronto did last week, Vancouver controlled the play against ten-man Montreal, and though the situations were of course completely different and we didn’t get the win we craved, it was enough to put hope in our hearts once again.

You have to believe the Impact are out of it. Two matches, one goal, one point, and three red cards. Over a quarter of the starting lineup for their first game will be ineligible for the third. But, throughout their history, Montreal has had a nasty habit of turning up alive. While they have a chance they will try to seize it, and if they achieve that long-awaited first victory against Toronto FC at home all of a sudden this Cup will take on a new, terrifying character. Toronto is the favourite now; they won their first game and if Vancouver plays like they did last night they’ll win their first two. But they haven’t got enough of an element of control to take anything for granted and the FC is at its worst when they go into cruise control.

As for the Whitecaps? Well, I’ve got hope. Hope is something.

Everybody loves a preview article. It tells you nothing you didn’t already know, takes up valuable minutes of your life you could spend learning a new language or spending time with your family, and at the end of it you’ll disagree with whatever I wrote anyway. I don’t know why writers, aside from the singularly lazy, bother with them.

Luckily, I am singularly lazy.

So I’m going to break down each position and important non-positional factor, team by team. Then I’m going to tell you who’s best. Then you’re going to comment and tell me what an idiot I am. I think it’s a great system for everybody, and with each team having played its last game before Montreal and Toronto kick off on Wednesday, the time is right.

Without further ado: the Maple Leaf Forever 2010 Voyageurs Cup Preview Article, broken down position by position for your reading and arguing convenience.

Goalkeepers: best Vancouver, second-best Toronto, third-best Montreal.

This is a competitive category, as all three teams run out quite skilled goaltenders. Placing Montreal third should be no slight on Matt Jordan, who was the main reason the Impact won the 2008 Voyageurs Cup and would be a big factor if they hypothetically won the 2010 edition. But Stefan Frei beats out Jordan on sheer athleticism, even if he lacks Jordan’s poise, experience, and ability to control his area. Certainly, on any given Wednesday, these rankings could be flipped right around.

Perhaps it’s just my bias from watching the Whitecaps too much, but he Jay Nolly is the best of the lot. An elite second division goalkeeper, would look quite good in MLS, and has stymied both Toronto and Montreal in the past. He does not suffer from Frei’s occasional brain cramps, but his superior physical ability compared to Jordan makes him the best in the tournament.

Defenders: best Vancouver, second-best Montreal, third-best Toronto

Mouloud Alkoul, who was the pundits’ choice to be Vancouver’s best defender this season if he could ever get on the pitch, is out with injury after playing less than half an hour of Whitecaps football. The other highly-touted acquisition, former FC Dallas starter Blake Wagner, has not been heard from so far this season. But the defense has still been good enough to get Jay Nolly three pretty easy clean sheets to start the season, with Nelson Akwari, Chris Williams, Greg Janicki, Zourab Tsiskaridze, and Wes Knight putting in stalwart and largely error-free service early in the season. As the relatively new roster plays more and the Cup progresses, the defense could be on even better form when Vancouver plays its two key road matches to close out the Cup.

Montreal’s back line is less spectacular but it is also absolutely legitimate. It is a more veteran group than the Vancouver gang, headlined by Adam Braz, Stefano Pesoli, and captain Nevio Pizzolitto. With other highly effective players such as Cedric Jonquivel, Hicham Aâboubou, and Simon Gatti, the Impact can run a sterling defensive line that may get into foul trouble now and again but will also terrorize unprepared Vancouver or Toronto strikers.

Toronto FC also has defenders on its roster. Some of them are oft-injured eastern Europeans with mysterious, worrisome chronic knee problems. Some of them are just useless. Some of them are Nick Garcia. I like Nana Attakora as much as anybody but he’s one man and won’t make up the difference.

Midfielders: best Toronto, second-best Montreal, third-best Vancouver

When I say “best Toronto”, imagine a nice, long pause before I say “second-best Montreal”. Go make a cup of tea, that’s how long a pause we’re talking about here.

Oh, Montreal’s midfield is fine. I’m as big a Tyler Hemming fan as is left on the planet and it would take a braver man than I to condemn David Testo, Rocco Placentino, and Stephen deRoux to the dustbin of history. They’re good players. They’ll do some damage. But Toronto’s strength at this position is unrivaled. Dwayne De Rosario, Julian De Guzman, Sam Cronin, and that’s enough. Their depth does not impress (I’m not exactly feeling a chill down my spine at the thought of Nick LaBrocca bearing down on Jay Nolly), but their top end is plenty strong.

Vancouver has some bright spots on their midfield but so far this season it has been, on balance, a position of weakness. Martin Nash is old and slow, even if his service and ball control is as remarkable as ever. Ansu Toure and Nisar Khalfan are fair enough players, and Luca Bellisomo has been surprisingly strong so far as a central midfielder. But there’s not much talent there.

Forwards: best Montreal, second-best Vancouver, third-best Toronto

This is a much tighter race, possibly the closest of all. None of these three teams have overwhelming strike forces. I give Montreal the benefit of the doubt because, even if their best players are getting older, we know they can score. Roberto Brown is my pick for the tournament’s Golden Boot. Eduardo Sebrango isn’t what he used to be but he will poach one here and there off the bench. Peter Byers is more of a question mark but at least he has promise.

I agonized over the order of Vancouver and Toronto. Vancouver’s best striker, Marlon James, is too often injured to rely upon. Toronto’s best striker is a midfielder, Dwayne De Rosario, and from there it is a chorus of futility headlined by the infamous Chad Barrett. But they are futile against superior MLS defenses and history has shown that the jump from second division to first in North America is greatest for strikers. Neither one has enough depth to impress. Randy Edwini-Bonsu and Dever Orgill have potential but they can’t score yet. O’Brian White, for Toronto, is closer to rounding into the goal-poaching so-and-so they hope he will become but Fuad Ibrahim is still some way off.

I finally give Vancouver the advantage based on returning loanee Marcus Haber: I’m not that high on the kid but if James stays healthy he can take some of the pressure off the St. Vincentian, and if James gets hurt he still provides us with some scoring depth Toronto hasn’t got.

Bench: best Vancouver, second-best Montreal, third-best Toronto

Vancouver has at least one and usually two legitimate tactical or injury substitutions available at every position. If Jay Nolly (he of the playing every single minute in 2009) gets hurt, Simon Thomas isn’t a star but he’s perfectly adequate and Dan Pelc is considered a hot prospect by CSL fans. There are enough midfielders with sufficiently varied skill sets that Teitur Thordarson can throw any sort of lineup he wants together even if a player or two goes down. Dever Orgill, Randy Edwini-Bonsu, and Alex Semenets are borderline interchangeable up front with Ricardo Sanchez providing a veteran, no-nonsense tactical curveball.

The Montreal Impact, too, benefit from a surfeit of interchangeable players. With six defenders and eight midfielders who could start for most USSF D2 teams, they can field a lineup as strong in the ninetieth minute as it was in the first. They fall behind Vancouver in the individual calibre of each of their substitutes as well as the tactical variation they can throw out with their substitutions, but they are still top-notch from the bench.

Toronto FC only recently acquired enough players to have a bench, and most of them you won’t have heard of or won’t care about if you have. Their depth has been a point of contention for their supporters throughout the season so far, and with Preki viewing the Voyageurs Cup as a second-rate tournament it may become a critical obstacle.

The verdict: I have Vancouver winning the 2010 Voyageurs Cup, although Montreal could easily give them a run for their money and Toronto, of course, is hardly out of it. Just because the Whitecaps are the favourites doesn’t mean they’re sure things. It ought to be a close competition, or at least closer than last year: if you’re a neutral, isn’t that what matters?

Me, I’m just waiting for Vancouver.

It is an axiom that a higher-division team is always the favourite against a lower-division team in a fair tournament. Always. Never mind that the higher-division team is probably the worst team in its league and the two lower-division teams in question are defending finalists. Never mind that the aforementioned higher-division team’s record in competitive matches is 4-3-3, that they lost the first one of these tournaments, and that they won the second only due to a shocking episode of capitulation from the Montreal Impact and their reserve team.

In case you haven’t guessed, I don’t much care for axioms.

Look at Toronto’s roster. You thought the Nick Garcia Experience last year was bad then, boy, you ain’t seen nothing yet. In direct defiance of one of my articles from last year, Julian De Guzman looks talented as hell but useless in the FC’s setup and Toronto could not physically be missing Carl Robinson more than they are. The strike force is almost unbelievably bad. Both the midfield and defense have some talented individuals – Nana Attakora and Dwayne De Rosario are firmly in “call up to the national team until their legs fall off” territory and Sam Cronin is good enough that we need to invent a time machine just so we can give him a Canadian grandparent – but as units the defense is bad and the midfield isn’t good enough to make up for it. Stefan Frei has all the brain cramps of Fabien Barthez without an iota of Barthez’s talent. Depth is a problem. So is the coach, who has bluntly stated that he doesn’t give a toss about our national championship compared to the league. Whether you think that’s right or wrong is beside the point.

Let’s compare that to the two defending USL-1 finalists the FC will be up against, Vancouver and Montreal. Vancouver is slightly weaker in some departments, with the departure of Charles Gbeke, Marcus Haber, and 2009 hero Ansu Touré among others. On the other hand, our old nemesis of defense had been addressed with the addition of MLS journeyman Greg Janicki, former Charleston Battery stalwarts Chris Williams and Nelson Akwari, and of course Zourab “Georgian Guy” Tsiskaridze, who wears #77 but don’t hold that against him.

(Sidenote: apparently Georgian Guy played for Miami FC last year. I saw Miami FC in person twice last year and more often on webcasts. You think I’d have remembered a speedy 6′0″ Georgian skinhead with “TSISKARIDZE” on his back.)

Unless the Residency kids come along or Marlon James stays healthy, the Whitecaps are going to have trouble scoring goals this year, but probably less trouble in their league than Toronto would have in theirs. Man for man, James, Edwini-Bonsu, Orgill and Semenets are awfully close to Barrett, White, and Ibrahim.

Montreal, meanwhile, can score with the best of them. Roberto Brown is arguably the best striker in Canada right now until the Ali Gerba situation resolves itself, and the depth is unremarkable but decent with Peter Byers, elder statesman Eduardo Sebrango, and a bevy of kids from Trois-Rivieres. Matt Jordan can steal games. Braz, Pizzolitto, Joqueviel, and Pesoli can help Jordan do that. While the defense has no stars with the loss of Joey Gjertsen, there are an awful lot of really good journeymen like Di Lorenzo, Hemming, Testo, and Placentino. Provided the Impact duck their crises from last season, they have to be a ranking contender for the Voyageurs Cup title.

Where does this leave Toronto? On the outside looking in, barring either a change of heart from Preki or a balls-to-the-wall performance from the FC’s lesser lights. This isn’t a “USSF Division Two is a better league than MLS!” argument. This is “if two good USSF-2 teams that care about the tournament go up against a bad MLS team that doesn’t, the USSF-2 teams will probably win.”

Which goes against every axiom in the book. But like I said, I don’t much care for axioms.

(If you’d like to put somebody else’s money where your mouth is, the esteemed Out of Touch Guy is running a Voyageurs Cup pool. You should enter. I will enjoy crushing you with my blatant Whitecaps homer predictions.)