Last week the Canada Soccer Twitter account entertained us by promoting the upcoming lady friendlies against the United States by reliving our top five CanWNT – USWNT memories. Now you may have thought “wait a minute, I don’t have five good CanWNT – USWNT memories.” You’re right, you don’t! The CSA’s glorious moments are really not what was advertised. Three of them are positively traumatic.
So on this week’s 99 Friendship, Carolyn and I spend twenty minutes triggering the hell out of each other with these horrible, horrible memories Canada Soccer thinks will somehow move tickets.
Don’t say I don’t love you, because I went onto YouTube and found video evidence for these moments. In some cases I had to be very careful not to actually watch them.
May 8, 2014: Canada manages to draw the United States 1-1 in Winnipeg. These are the US Soccer highlights so you can’t see the actual top rivalry moment, which was Kadeisha Buchanan making Abby Wambach retire. I forgot that Sydney Leroux scored the equalizer in this game, which you think would have automatically disqualified it from Least Triggering Memory. But it wouldn’t have.
September 17, 2011: Canada manages to draw the United States 1-1 in Kansas City. I have now seen video evidence and I’m still not convinced it ever happened. Totally awful penalty call, so you see why it blended in with every other USWNT game of the past decade. But do watch the highlights for the part where Lauren Sesselmann nutmegs Lauren Cheney.
September 1, 2002: in the only non-senior team moment on the CSA’s list, except this was basically the entire senior team while they were little babies, Lindsay Tarpley buries Canada in the final of the inaugural FIFA U-19 Women’s World Championship in Edmonton. In the episode I reminisce about this tournament a bit, mostly fondly. But this game sucked. That’s the full match video, by the way, and it went to extra time, so pack a lunch.
August 15, 2008: Beijing Olympics. #tashakaiwasoffside. Only the extra time for you in this game, but I think Carolyn’s traumatized recap will give you 1% of an idea of what it was like live.
Christine Sinclair’s hatty game in London. I lied, I couldn’t bring myself to look for video of this.
Elsewhere in the episode Carolyn goes into the babycanwoso archives to find a suggestion that might have actually fit this list (for her, anyway). Then we talk briefly about women’s hockey, because Canada got itself triggered against the United States in that sport too and this episode wouldn’t have been quite long enough if we hadn’t.
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