99 Friendship Episode 60

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · November 1st, 2017 · No comments

This week on a not-at-all-Halloween-special-because-we-don’t-mention-Halloween-once episode of 99 Friendship:

  • Carolyn is very excited about the curling. She is very excited, because Jennifer Jones had a seven-ender against world number one Anna Hasselborg. If you don’t speak curling, that’s a lot.

  • Canada’s women’s national soccer team has begun its training camp prior to playing the United States twice in a couple weeks. As of recording time, on Sunday evening, we did not know the roster. And as of blog posting time, on Wednesday morning, we still don’t know the roster! The US roster, of course, is out, so thank you Canada Soccer for not making our podcast obsolete prior to release.

  • The College Desk and the Foreign Desk return with, alas, some slow news. Sophie Schmidt scored a goal and Jessie Fleming deserved to. Actual Summer Olympic Bronze Medalist Deanne Rose, to the surprise of very few, has turned out to be an excellent freshman soccer player in the SEC. Victoria Pickett and Sarah Stratigakis are scooping honours as we head into tournament time, when Carolyn gets one of her trademark huge brackets all drawn up.

  • And then holy macaroni it is Curling O’Clock. Thomas Ulsrud wears pants, Kevin Koe destroys some loser, Brad Gushue and Jennifer Jones destroy all losers, and from that inspiring week of curling we take away “we are scared for Canada at the Olympics.”

  • My mouth always wants to say “Lethbridge” even when my brain knows it wants “Lloydminster.” This is how I work and there’s nothing I can do.

Next week will be a big exciting WNT-versus-USA preview! Unless we still don’t have a roster by next weekend! Which we might not, leaving us to make logical deductions from NCAA rosters and people’s Instagrams!

99 Friendship Episode 59

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · October 25th, 2017 · No comments

Last week the Canada Soccer Twitter account entertained us by promoting the upcoming lady friendlies against the United States by reliving our top five CanWNT – USWNT memories. Now you may have thought “wait a minute, I don’t have five good CanWNT – USWNT memories.” You’re right, you don’t! The CSA’s glorious moments are really not what was advertised. Three of them are positively traumatic.

So on this week’s 99 Friendship, Carolyn and I spend twenty minutes triggering the hell out of each other with these horrible, horrible memories Canada Soccer thinks will somehow move tickets.

Don’t say I don’t love you, because I went onto YouTube and found video evidence for these moments. In some cases I had to be very careful not to actually watch them.

  • May 8, 2014: Canada manages to draw the United States 1-1 in Winnipeg. These are the US Soccer highlights so you can’t see the actual top rivalry moment, which was Kadeisha Buchanan making Abby Wambach retire. I forgot that Sydney Leroux scored the equalizer in this game, which you think would have automatically disqualified it from Least Triggering Memory. But it wouldn’t have.

  • September 17, 2011: Canada manages to draw the United States 1-1 in Kansas City. I have now seen video evidence and I’m still not convinced it ever happened. Totally awful penalty call, so you see why it blended in with every other USWNT game of the past decade. But do watch the highlights for the part where Lauren Sesselmann nutmegs Lauren Cheney.

  • September 1, 2002: in the only non-senior team moment on the CSA’s list, except this was basically the entire senior team while they were little babies, Lindsay Tarpley buries Canada in the final of the inaugural FIFA U-19 Women’s World Championship in Edmonton. In the episode I reminisce about this tournament a bit, mostly fondly. But this game sucked. That’s the full match video, by the way, and it went to extra time, so pack a lunch.

  • August 15, 2008: Beijing Olympics. #tashakaiwasoffside. Only the extra time for you in this game, but I think Carolyn’s traumatized recap will give you 1% of an idea of what it was like live.

  • Christine Sinclair’s hatty game in London. I lied, I couldn’t bring myself to look for video of this.

Elsewhere in the episode Carolyn goes into the babycanwoso archives to find a suggestion that might have actually fit this list (for her, anyway). Then we talk briefly about women’s hockey, because Canada got itself triggered against the United States in that sport too and this episode wouldn’t have been quite long enough if we hadn’t.

Follow 99 Friendship on Twitter! Do you know when these episodes come out? You can’t because I don’t and I post them! Twitter will always have the scoop! (Or your favourite podcast aggregator, whatever.)

99 Friendship Episode 58

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · October 17th, 2017 · No comments

5 + 8 = 13! So episode 58 of 99 Friendship is very nearly a perfect tribute to the once and future NWSL champion captain, the immortal number 12, Christine Sinclair. It would have been better for everybody if the Portland Thorns won the NWSL championship last week, but that league doesn’t play by our rules or, indeed, the rules of any generally-recognized organizing body.

We recorded this on Saturday afternoon, after the NWSL final but before the party at Portland’s stadium, which among many other things featured Thorns fans and players chanting in honour of the Alex Morgan trade. We probably would have done a whole episode just on that. So it’s probably just as well we missed it, since actually many things happened this week!

On this week’s show:

  • Let’s face it, the main thing that happened was the NWSL championship. It featured an indisputably ugly trophy and what some people are calling an ugly game that I enjoyed very much. Agricultural soccer is sort of my thing, and there’s a wider soccer-political point that I probably could have got a thousand-word blog post out of but instead spend 15 seconds of podcast time on. But we discuss lots of things, and Carolyn (a true red Thorns fan) is very, very happy.

  • On the Foreign Desk, we bring bad news from Erin McLeod in Sweden, good news from Sophie Schmidt and Shannon Woeller in Germany, and questionable news from Jaclyn Sawicki in Japan.

  • On the College Desk, we bring Jessie Fleming highlights and a couple of lists. The Foreign Desk is undoubtedly better than the College Desk.

  • Swiss Olympic Women’s Curling Trials happened. And then, unreasonably quickly, they concluded. We take some time to boggle at this.

  • What I’m afraid Carolyn and I insist on continuing to call The Sexy Man Curling Calendar has just been released for 2018. I am very excited because St. Albert native Marc Kennedy takes the honoured position of Sexiest Man, which is only correct. You’d expect Carolyn to be excited because there are will be many shirtless studs, but alas, this year’s selection is decidedly… mixed. And not in the way that would have been exciting.

    The bright side is that, even if you aren’t sold on the sexiness, most of them are raising money for great charitable causes. And two of them are raising money to change the lightbulbs in their home curling rink. And you’ll never guess which two.

  • On a meta note, I also made, and cut, probably the two dirtiest jokes I have ever committed to a podcast recording. One was quite near the beginning and the other quite near the end. Let’s see if you can spot the lacunae!

99 Friendship Episode 57

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · October 12th, 2017 · No comments

Ben is both still sick and still harried, so once again you get a late podcast overtaken by events, accompanied by a totally mailed-in post summarizing all the action! At least the NWSL final hasn’t happened yet, and at least we’re still super witty and entertaining, so sit down and enjoy!

On this week’s stunning episode:

  • The NWSL semifinals took place last weekend and we spend the first half of the show breaking them down. And by “them,” I mean the Portland Thorns – Orlando Pride game. We are both feeling thorny, Carolyn because she is an actual legitimate Portland Thorns fan, and me because Portland is the only team left with a Canadian who actually plays. Said Canadian, a precocious young prospect by the name of Christine Sinclair, scored a goal having been left as pretty much the only person in her half of the stadium for a while. She also should have had another one earlier, way before garbage time, but she was incorrectly ruled out offside. So ha!

  • Sabrina D’Angelo’s North Carolina Courage also won, but they don’t play Sabrina D’Angelo anymore so does anybody actually care?

  • UCLA, with Jessie Fleming and occasionally now Kennedy Faulknor, failed to beat the Wildcats.

  • In curling news, uh, our analysis was made slightly obsolete by the fact that the bonspiels we’re talking about hadn’t ended when we recorded this. I drop a trademark Awkward Opening Line about Rachel Homan and you get to wait fifteen minutes for me to explain what it means, and then the actual explanation itself takes five more minutes. But Rachel won her tournament, so our uncomfortably non-ironic Rachel Homan fandom is intensifying. Having assured you that John Morris is going to win his title event, the DIRECT HORIZONTAL DRILLING FALL CLASSIC, the actual winner of the Golden Eggplant was Rui Liu, who I brushed past without comment, in a final against Kevin Koe, who I absolutely promised you was going to lose his quarter-final so he didn’t have to work Monday. But Brad Gushue won in Toronto so that’s okay then.

  • Also, Thomas Ulsrud’s curling pants.

99 Friendship Episode 56

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · October 4th, 2017 · No comments

Ben is feeling unwell so he hopes you will forgive an even-more-perfunctory than usual summary post for the latest episode of 99 Friendship.

This week!

  • We discuss all the continents in women’s soccer. Yes, all the continents. Yes, all the continents.
  • Apparently Canadians don’t play abroad much anymore, but we catch you up on what there is to catch you up on. Sophie Schmidt faced Amy Pietrangelo and Shannon Woeller in the Canadian German Derby on recording day, and we couldn’t watch it, but we do tell you about it!
  • Jaclyn Sawicki might not get relegated!
  • There are other types of drama!
  • Words pass our lips related to curling.

99 Friendship Episode 55

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · September 29th, 2017 · No comments

Yes it’s, um, Friday, and you know what that means: a brand new episode of 99 Friendship!

Sorry for the long delay. Last week I was inna woods and obviously unable to record. But this past week we recorded on time and I’ve been plain too busy to edit. As a result, your half-hour of Carolyn and Ben delight was unconscionably delayed. But episode 55 has arrived at last, just in time for Carolyn and I to get together and record episode 56.

On this week’s fast-obsolete show, we have a potpourri of potent sporting potables. Yes, it was a stretch where nothing much happened, the NWSL was on international break and then it was boring, but we get to catch up on some wider topics. The University of Nevada women’s soccer team was hilarious. FIFA’s announcement of THE BEST’s finalists was even more hilarious than that. One of the candidates for president of the United States Soccer Federation has some ideas that others consider hilarious but I am a little non-ironically into. Sarah Stratigakis scored a goal on which the defending was hilarious. And we shoot the breeze about Olympic curling, of course, which has the potential to not be hilarious at all.

Follow 99 Friendship on Twitter!

By the way, you should now be able to find 99 Friendship on the iTunes Podcasts list! iTunes fixed the issue which prevented me from adding the podcast previously, and in adding it I incidentally figured out why 99 Friendship culturally appropriated the Two Fat Bastards feeds when I consciously tried to make it not do that. Unfortunately I don’t think that’s something I can easily go back and fix…

Anyway, in addition to iTunes, 99 Friendship should be found in many fine podcast aggregators. I use CastBox for Android, and it looks lovely over there.

99 Friendship Episode 54

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · September 13th, 2017 · No comments

On this week’s 99 Friendship:

  • Holy macaroni, that ancient Twitter header that we only just stopped using on our Twitter account is finally relevant! Not only did Jaclyn Sawicki (right) score last week but she made her first Japanese first division start this past weekend, while Amy Pietrangelo (left) is not only starting but scoring in the Frauen-Bundesliga! It’s a great time to be a Canadian soccer fan.
  • But we don’t start talking about that of course, we start by talking about sexy curlers.
  • Elsewhere, in less inspiring corners of the Canadian women’s soccer world, Christine Sinclair is scoring and Stephanie Labbé is taking a leave of absence for the rest of the season. We hope she does okay.
  • French woso makes me crazy. Why is the one who doesn’t really know French trying to look up French woso? Look don’t nitpick us.
  • Val Sweeting, Canada’s princess, won the season-opening event in the Sportsnet Pinty’s Fake News Bonspiel Sextet, while Chelsea Carey, Canada’s something-else, got to the final of the Sportsnet Pinty’s Fake News Second Division Bonspiel. There was man curling as well but nobody cares because Alberta didn’t do brilliantly. Kevin Koe is transparently only doing this to golf.
  • Finally, we comment more on the physical appearances of professional athletes.

Sorry about episode 54 being so late. But rest assured, episode 55 will be even later, as half of the team will be wandering around the woods in the rain feeling sorry for himself all week. Normal service will resume whenever it does.

99 Friendship Episode 53

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · September 5th, 2017 · No comments

Maybe it’s because I was trying not to fall asleep on Carolyn’s air mattress while recording this, maybe it’s because I feel weirdly unwell now and am bitter, maybe it was the lack of woso news and the broso madness and the hapless rambling I inflicted upon poor Carolyn for 20 of the 28 minutes in this episode, anyway, this is one of my least favourite 99 Friendships ever! Listen out of morbid curiousity! It’s only the second episode Carolyn and I did while actually in the same room, which proves that millennials should go outside to talk to each other less, and hang out on the Internet more!

In this week’s word-packed show:

  • Mormons are nice. Yes. Yes it’s one of those sorts of filler episodes.

  • The only actual women’s soccer news of the week comes out of Japan, where honourary-friend-of-the-show Jaclyn Sawicki finally made an extremely stylish debut with her new club!

  • We talk about some other things? Briefly?

  • There was a mixed doubles tournament in Winnipeg featuring a fabulously dodgy webstream, which should have given us plenty of delightful #content. Unfortunately the tournament was still ongoing while we recorded this because we are idiots. (Chelsea Carey and Colin Hodgson, of Alberta, won.)

  • We end the episode by looking at old Newfoundland Tankard results. Spoiler: Brad Gushue won. Also spoiler: boy the Newfoundland curling authorities sure gave Brad Gushue every chance to win they possibly could.

99 Friendship Episode 52

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · August 29th, 2017 · No comments

  • In a week of NWSL action… not much happened of note to you and me. Kailen Sheridan got a clean sheet. I forget what Allysha Chapman’s name is. It’s a scorcher.

  • In a week of NCAA women’s soccer action, the most notable event by far was that goalkeeper Lysianne Proulx may have made her NCAA debut by playing about 17 minutes of defense against West Point. It was more likely a recordkeeping mistake but it’s still a possibility that gives us much joy.

  • Erin McLeod, Ella Masar, and Jenna Hellstrom helped FC Rosengard defeat Linköpings in the final of the Swedish Cup. Yes, Jenna Hellstrom actually did help, starting and going the 90 minutes. We are pretty hyped about that. We are also pretty hyped about how horrible the Swedish Cup actually looks.

  • Okay obviously we talk about curling quite a lot. We’re outraged by the Fake News Curling Draft, which was nowhere near as awesome as fantasy draft last week. Parts of it were still okay, but only parts. As always Curling Canada should put us in charge of everything.

  • But that wasn’t as bad as a special rule the curling authorities put into place for this tournament, which let John Epping beat the Sweet and made me use up all my profanity for a whole episode in fifteen seconds.

  • But that wasn’t as bad as this commercial, of which I present the extended cut.

  • And even that wasn’t as bad as Ben Hebert.

By the way, sorry about worse sound quality than usual, there were technical problems on Carolyn’s end. Yes I am throwing my podcast buddy straight under the bus.

99 Friendship Episode 51 CURLING FANTASY SPECIAL!

By Carolyn Duthie and Benjamin Massey · August 23rd, 2017 · No comments

Yes I know it’s Wednesday. But this was worth the wait. We have one of the most special episodes of 99 Friendship ever: the 50-minute Curling Fantasy Spectacular!

But don’t worry, woso fans, we love you. Yes, this is a super-curling episode, but there’s actually a solid 20 minutes of soccer!

  • NCAA season is underway! Jessie Fleming is already a meme again, as well as the Muscle Milk Student-Athlete of the Week! Is it just me or does that sound indefinably inappropriate for an underage woman? Also Vital Katz, Sarah Stratigakis, and Deanne Rose have walked straight into college and started doin’ work.

  • Because we recorded a day later than usual, we learned that the United States – Canada second friendly on November 12 will be in San Jose, California, or as Carolyn and I are going to call it “San Francisco.” Enjoy the three minutes where we basically talk about our upcoming California vacation!

  • Another week in the NWSL happened!

  • The Universiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade is happening in Taiwan and I get frustrated with their website! Carolyn wants to play pool!

  • FIFA announced its shortlist for THE BEST and, while Marta is somehow not on it, Carli Lloyd is there to represent the “inexplicable famous person from the Americas” vote. We talk about this. Yes this gives me an excuse to use the Carli Lloyd Theme for the third episode in a row.

Anyway, the reason this became an hour-long special is that we found out the Everest Curling Challenge, the late-August kickoff to the curling season about which I had previously been so cynical, is actually a mixed event with drafted teams. The skips pick teams of two men and two women and we get to experience enormous drama! Also Val Sweeting is in it now! So we did a fantasy draft. Yes this was so much fun.

Our rules, by the way, based off what we know about the tournament and what we made up was:

  • each skip drafts his or her own three players, serpentine, in the order Carolyn came up with

  • you can’t have two members of the same unmixed quints team on the same mixed quads team

  • everyone throws boy-girl-boy-girl, but you’re not limited by position so you can put Mark Nichols at lead or whatever and you can sweep in any rules-legal manner

  • as a necessary mid-draft rules patch, you can’t snooker one of the other teams by drafting players such that the next team to draft wouldn’t have any players eligible given the rules above

So what happened?!

  • We invent the field of “fantasy curling strategy!” Load up your thirds in the early rounds! Nobody needs scrubbers in the first round, take your third! But sometimes it’s late in the day and you need to pick Best Harnden Available.

  • We ignore the field of “fantasy curling strategy” in favour of principles like “John Epping seems like he wants to play with nice people” and “Brad Jacobs can fuck off!”

  • By the way, Fantasy Team John Epping actually turns out to be pretty good somehow! So maybe niceness pays off! On the other hand, Brad Jacobs’ team is ridiculous and Chelsea Carey’s team goes off the rails instantly.

  • Also, since Carolyn and I pick girl-boy, I only have one Alberta rink to play with and I get a little too excited about sincerely trying to get Kevin Koe a competitive team, right now to being really disappointed I couldn’t get him Dawn McEwen. (I’m so traumatized by this that later in the podcast I confuse her with Lisa Weagle in an uneditable way!)

  • Neither of us have any idea who John Epping’s guys are. That’s another piece of good fantasy curling strategy, don’t get stuck with an Epping.

  • Last, but absolutely not least, Carolyn turns Team Jennifer Jones into the greatest thing in the history of human communication. And if you last 43 minutes you can hear Carolyn and me talking ourselves into it.

Then we talk about more curling at the end. This is my favourite episode since the amwosolit episode. Please listen to it all.